I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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