Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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