It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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