You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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