My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
