my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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