So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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