But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
