1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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