and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who