There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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