There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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