The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
