i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
