I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize