So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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