you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
