tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Terrible idea I love it
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
