Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
When are your genitals available?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
