i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
