Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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