Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
