so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
