i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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