I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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