this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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