Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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