please come you make the beer taste better
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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