Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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