Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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