I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Randomize
