Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
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His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
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Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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