Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
