you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
