Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
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she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
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A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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