no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
