I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
