ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize