I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
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We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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