she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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