if you like me you must not know who I am
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
