What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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