I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Randomize
