I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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