If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
