If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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