I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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