I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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