i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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