We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
