I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
