I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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