Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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