omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
