i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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