never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
