fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
