He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
